5 Essential Tips for Thriving as an Expat
1. Culture Shock Comes in Waves
Moving to a new country can feel like riding an emotional rollercoaster. One moment you’re excited, and the next, you’re wondering, “What have I gotten myself into?” When I first moved to China, I had days where I just sat and cried because everything felt so unfamiliar—different language, different food, different routines. And honestly? That’s totally okay.
Culture shock isn’t something you have to “fix.” It’s part of the process, and it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed. What helped me was reminding myself that it’s okay not to be okay. I started journaling, writing down my feelings—even the hard ones. I also reached out to others who’d been through similar experiences, and just knowing I wasn’t alone made a huge difference.
Be kind to yourself in these moments. Let the tough days come and go without judging yourself for them. Over time, those feelings shift, and what felt impossible starts to feel like growth.
2. Find Small Things That Feel Comfortable
Loneliness can creep in when you’re far from everything familiar. When I moved to India, I spent weeks feeling out of place and unsure of how to connect with anyone. Then, I started doing small things that felt familiar—playing ping pong at the local game hall and, surprisingly, teaching the local chef how to make chicken nuggets (yes, really). Those moments weren’t just about doing activities I enjoyed—they became opportunities to meet people and build relationships.
Hobbies are an incredible way to connect with others. For example, when we were in San Diego, my husband joined a casual soccer pickup game, which led to him becoming part of an amateur football league that played twice a week. It gave him a chance to meet people who shared his passion, and it quickly turned into a supportive social circle.
Whether it’s yoga, book clubs, painting, or sports, shared interests make it easier to break the ice and form meaningful connections. It doesn’t have to be something grand—sometimes it’s the small, everyday activities that create the biggest sense of belonging.
Building a support network doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. It might feel uncomfortable at first to put yourself out there, but finding people who “get it” makes a world of difference. These connections can help you laugh through the tough times, celebrate the wins, and just feel less alone. Whether it’s through hobbies, online groups, local meetups, or bonding with colleagues, having a community makes the expat journey feel a lot less isolating.
3. Learn the Local Language (Even a Little!)
Learning the local language might feel intimidating, but even small steps can make a big difference. When I lived in China, I didn’t try to become fluent in Mandarin, that felt way too overwhelming. Instead, I focused on learning practical phrases that made my day-to-day life easier. I learned how to give instructions to a taxi driver, the Chinese words for my favorite street food, and how to order a beer (a true necessity at the time). Those small victories helped me feel more confident and connected to the culture.
My husband is currently learning Dutch, and it’s been such a different experience. Rather than relying solely on structured classes, he picks up new words and phrases informally by watching our son interact with others. Whether it’s at the daycare drop-off or during a casual chat with a neighbor, these real-life moments make the learning process feel natural and much more enjoyable.
Informal ways of learning, like listening in on conversations, asking locals for help with pronunciation, or practicing phrases in everyday situations, often work better than formal, structured lessons. Apps like Duolingo or YouTube tutorials are great, but nothing beats learning in context. Even making mistakes can lead to laughs and memorable interactions!
You don’t need to aim for fluency right away (or ever) —just focus on what’s useful and relevant to your life. A simple “hello,” “thank you,” or “how much does this cost?” can open doors, create connections, and make you feel more at home.
4. Prioritize Self-Care and Mental Well-Being
Living abroad can be exciting, but it can also be overwhelming. When everything around you is unfamiliar, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. Over the years, I’ve learned that self-care can look different depending on where you are, but it’s always essential.
In China, I would treat myself by getting my nails done with the cutest designs—pandas were a favorite! In India, I’d go bowling when I needed to release some tension and just let go for a while. In America, I found peace in taking long walks through the local parks, giving myself the space to clear my head and recharge. And everywhere I’ve lived, I’d look for the local zoo. I’ve always loved animals, and spending time watching them brought me a sense of grounding and joy, no matter how chaotic life felt.
No matter where I lived, I also made sure to prioritize my mental health. I sought out therapy in every country or stayed in touch with my therapist overseas. Those sessions were a lifeline, helping me process my experiences and manage the emotional ups and downs of expat life.
Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s about finding what works for you—whether it’s a simple walk, a visit to the zoo, or connecting with a professional who can support you. Giving yourself permission to rest and recharge is one of the most valuable things you can do, no matter where in the world you are.
5. Celebrate Small Wins (and Learn from the Tough Ones)
Living abroad is full of challenges, so it’s important to notice and celebrate the little victories along the way. In China, I felt like a champion the first time I managed to give directions to a taxi driver in Mandarin. In India, it was the moment I found Nutella in a local shop after weeks of searching. It may seem small, but that little jar of chocolatey goodness made everything feel right in the world again. And in America, I remember feeling proud when I figured out how to navigate the DMV process—it felt like a real accomplishment!
But it’s not just the wins that deserve attention—the tough moments can teach you just as much. Like the time I took the wrong subway in China and ended up in a completely different part of town. I felt lost and overwhelmed, but I eventually figured it out. Or when I hit the garage door on the third day in my new rental in Cleveland, Ohio. I cried, I panicked, and then I made a plan to fix it. These moments felt awful at the time, but looking back, I can laugh about them and see how much they pushed me to grow and adapt.
Take a moment to acknowledge all of these experiences. Celebrate the wins by treating yourself to something you love, sharing your success with someone who understands, or simply pausing to say, “I did that.” And for the tough times, give yourself credit for how you handled them—even if it didn’t feel graceful in the moment.
Living abroad is tough, but it’s also a journey of incredible growth. The small wins and even the tough days all add up, showing you just how capable and resilient you really are. Celebrate it all—it’s part of your story.
Conclusion: Embracing Vulnerability, Resilience, and Adaptability
Living as an expat isn’t about having all the answers or breezing through every challenge. It’s about allowing yourself to feel vulnerable, leaning into the moments that scare or overwhelm you, and learning to grow from them. Vulnerability is what opens you up to connect with others, to admit when things are hard, and to seek help when you need it.
But vulnerability alone isn’t enough—you also need resilience. Resilience is what keeps you going when the days feel long and the challenges feel endless. It’s finding the strength to pick yourself up after taking the wrong subway, hitting the garage door, or struggling to communicate in a new language. It’s the voice in your head that says, “This is hard, but I’ll figure it out.”
And then, there’s adaptability—the key to thriving, not just surviving. Adaptability is what helps you learn the rhythms of a new culture, find joy in unfamiliar experiences, and embrace the unexpected. It’s what turns a frustrating challenge into a story you can laugh about later.
Being an expat requires all three: the vulnerability to feel deeply, the resilience to keep going, and the adaptability to grow and change. When these traits come together, they create a mindset that allows you to not just navigate life abroad but truly thrive in it.
Your expat journey will have highs and lows, triumphs and missteps, but it’s all part of the process. Every step you take—whether it feels messy, bold, or uncertain—adds to your story of growth. And in the end, it’s not about doing it perfectly. It’s about being open, being strong, and being willing to adapt to a life that’s richer, more challenging, and more fulfilling than you ever imagined.